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I came across a trend on Instagram recently that stopped me in my tracks. It goes something like this:
“I love my mom because she has a flat stomach.”“I love my mom because the kitchen is spotless.”“I love my mom because she never makes mistakes.”
And then the punchline: Said no kid ever.
I want to be setting an example both with my words and actions
These videos are SPOT on. Our kids don’t love us for being perfect. They don’t care about the size of our jeans or how flawless the kitchen looks. What they will remember is how we make them feel—and how we treat ourselves.
✨ They’ll notice how you show up for yourself.
✨ They’ll absorb how you talk to or about yourself.
✨ They’ll feel the energy you bring when you hate your body, your clothes, or how you look.
Even when we don’t say it outright, these things speak volumes. Kids see us hiding in photos. They feel our frustration when we pull at ill-fitting clothes or refuse to leave the house because nothing looks good.
Here’s the hard truth (with so much love): Our kids are incredibly perceptive. While we teach them to love themselves, they’re watching how we love ourselves.
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about leading by example. It’s about showing them that self-care isn’t selfish, that confidence isn’t vanity, and that we are more than the size of our pants.
So let me offer you a compassionate nudge today:
💡 Stop letting your clothes make you feel less than.
💡 Stop the negative self-talk that chips away at your confidence.
💡 Start showing your kids what self-love really looks like.
Because they’ll remember that.
How do make your actions match your words?
Moms are EXCELLENT at putting themselves at the bottom of the list. I am just as guilty as every one of you reading this. I think the best and easiest way to start moving yourself up the list is to start small. And for me, small wins come from actions that are actually attainable. Here's the hitch in the giddy-up with that. If the actions don't have authentic feelings behind them, they aren't going to have the impact we are looking for. They may actually backfire because your kids, and everyone you come into contact with will likely be able to see that you are faking it. Which means we have to start by changing our beliefs. That feels way harder than changing a habit or two am I right?! You're not wrong. BUT small wins open big doors!
My best advice is to figure out which small wins are going hit pay dirt for you. And if you want to reinforce those positive messages you are constantly sharing with your kids that they can conquer the world, they can do hard things, and that they are filled with magic, figuring out how to tap into your own confidence is going to go a LONG way. For me, confidence is at the heart of believing these things about myself. So the question becomes, what makes me feel CONFIDENT? This list likely looks a little different for each and every of us. But if you are anything like me, time is always something I don't have enough of, and I am always looking for hacks to make things more efficient. Which certainly applies here! When I was coming up with the idea of Style School, this was at the heart of it: How can I help women feel more confident in less than five minutes a day? The answer was to help them find outfits that were made for their bodies and bank accounts.
To bring this back to the point I was making, getting dressed each day in clothes that make you FEEL good is an easy win. And then you take how good you feel out into your world. That little bit of confidence you feel is going to translate into all you do in your day. It snowballs. And it's going to bring credibility to the words you are speaking into your children.
Reminder: Clothes aren't going to change the world. But the women who wear them will.
Ready to really LEARN more about how this all works and how to achieve personal style with ease? A good place to start is checking out Style School - it's where I take my teaching out of the classroom and into your closet!
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